Sunday, January 4, 2009
Saturday, January 3, 2009
battlefield
Miss R,
I doubt if you ever read this blog but just in case you see it, I am going to tell you how I see things.
You wanted a friend, a roommate, a part time fb, and when it didn't work like you thought...you did everything you could to try and push me away.
I wanted a lover, a friend, a confidant, someone to trust and hold me dear in her heart. When it didn't work out that way...I held on and begged and cajoled and cried. It wasn't pretty but it wasn't mean. I begged to be loved. Pathetic but not mean.
Mean is knowing how much someone loves you and just letting them hang there twisting. Mean is pretending to be a friend and then saying you can't. Mean is letting someone think it might work but knowing that it won't. Mean is giving someone false hope. Mean is saying abusive words and then telling that person they are abusive. Mean is stomping on someone when you know they are down. When you know that the person may not make it to the next day.
You made passes at my friends and then pretended that I was just jealous and crazy.
I wanted to share my life with you and you tell me that I keep people away from you. You push me away and tell me that I want too much. You pull me into your bed and then tell me I shouldn't expect anything. It was your rollercoaster. You invented it and kept it moving.
I was always expendable Miss R.
I feel used and cheated Miss R. I'm hurt and angry and I know that I'll survive but there will never be trust in my heart again, ever. My heart is broken and will never recover the way that it was in the beginning with you. You know what I'm talking about Miss R. My heart leapt for a chance to love you.
This blog was my only witness.
I doubt if you ever read this blog but just in case you see it, I am going to tell you how I see things.
You wanted a friend, a roommate, a part time fb, and when it didn't work like you thought...you did everything you could to try and push me away.
I wanted a lover, a friend, a confidant, someone to trust and hold me dear in her heart. When it didn't work out that way...I held on and begged and cajoled and cried. It wasn't pretty but it wasn't mean. I begged to be loved. Pathetic but not mean.
Mean is knowing how much someone loves you and just letting them hang there twisting. Mean is pretending to be a friend and then saying you can't. Mean is letting someone think it might work but knowing that it won't. Mean is giving someone false hope. Mean is saying abusive words and then telling that person they are abusive. Mean is stomping on someone when you know they are down. When you know that the person may not make it to the next day.
You made passes at my friends and then pretended that I was just jealous and crazy.
I wanted to share my life with you and you tell me that I keep people away from you. You push me away and tell me that I want too much. You pull me into your bed and then tell me I shouldn't expect anything. It was your rollercoaster. You invented it and kept it moving.
I was always expendable Miss R.
I feel used and cheated Miss R. I'm hurt and angry and I know that I'll survive but there will never be trust in my heart again, ever. My heart is broken and will never recover the way that it was in the beginning with you. You know what I'm talking about Miss R. My heart leapt for a chance to love you.
This blog was my only witness.
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