Locks and Chains

I am sorry for this previous post MSR...it was arrogant.


Lover. I miss you. The touch of your leg against mine in the movie house makes me tingle. The smell of your hair and the silk of your skin fill my senses. The longing does not stop.

My shadow emotions of fear and anxiety hold your love hostage. The chain begins and breaking it is difficult. I unlock a little fear, and free one of the monsters, only to find your hands ready with another lock. It is up to me to find all the keys. My patience gets worn too.

Let's use the chains a different way love. Wrap my wrists and ankles up lovingly and secure them to the king. Force my fear out of me. Chase my anxiety away with a stroke of the cane.
I know these tools and trust them.

Driving home tonight, the Boss came on the radio, and I felt you, and felt grateful.

As I struggle to work through my fears about loss and emptiness, I know that you have already given me the love you have. My heart must find courage and peace from within myself. You have been the inspiration. Our words shared so many months ago, to live an authentic life still ring inside me, and not only for myself, but for you as well. I am sorry if these shadows that live along side me have hindered your path.

I still long for your touch each day and find joy in your care of me. I still yearn to be bent over and whipped, and feel your hand as it finds me dripping. I long to take you in my arms and kiss you deeply, hearing your cries for deeper pleasure.

Thank you for hearing my struggle and being supportive and patient. My gratitude cannot be measured at once. I can only try to show you as much. It's in my picture swiping, it's in my silly texts that sometimes annoy you, it's in my driving you to the races, it's in the flowers, and it's in my eyes when I behold how beautiful you are.

I only want to bring you beauty.

Getting to know you

Date night is a concept that many couples have. We are not unique. It is a sign that times have been hard but also that both people want something from the relationship.

Aside from the bad food and loud music it was good to just be with MSR. I might have enjoyed a night on the couch more but we couldn't guarantee a date with just us if we planned that date.

I learn something new all the time about MSR. Sometimes I learn things about myself that don't always sit well. It's hard to have your faults pointed out when you want someone to think the world of you. It's better if I know what irritates her or how I come across when it doesn't suit us, but that doesn't change what I hope for in the end. I want her to like me, to love me, to think I'm grand. Sometimes, reality doesn't mesh with those feelings. I adore my MSR and while I know she's not perfect, I do know that I really like her and want to know how she's put together as a person.