loving

MSR, I am forcing myself to pull away from you and it's the hardest thing I've faced in quite some time. I am still to this day deeply in love with you and long for you. I am bathed in your beauty when I'm near you and treasure each moment I have with you.

Yet I can't make you want me. The hurt and problems we face seem too daunting to try and be in this relationship. I am sad beyond all reason.

I have felt your hurt and know my own shame in it. I long to repair what can't be undone. Yet I long to hear you say, "Sweet girl, I want to be with you."

I look for reasons to hope in our relationship. The race, a phone call or a text that has meaning between the lines. I only need confirmation of a desire to try, to hang in and have hope in love.
I long to hear the words, "I love you" or "I want to be here." I believe in their power.

I know you need actions and something stronger than flowery words. Yet I have these words and I have my small offerings of support in your work, your races, your ideas.

Oh sweet MSR! I long to see your eyes light up for me and shine brightly for eveyone to see. I long to hear you speak and open your heart the way I heard you so long ago.

While you say that we can't ever go back, I know that we can learn to trust and go forward if we have enough daring and compassion.

I never meant to cause you to clench and jump. My heart should have asked you gently for a stroke on my head, for a hand to hold, for a word whispered in my ear.

Kisses for always MSR.